Saturday, December 4, 2010

Does the problem lie with women?

An author I follow posted this link:

I was kind of shocked by the content. It seemed to be explaining that women will be unhappier in their romantic relationships with men if they were successful in their careers.
I find this shocking for two reasons; the first being that I am the breadwinner in my home while my husband is in school and although it's difficult being the sole provider (vagina or not), but in no way do I feel like my husband is less of a man. He actually volunteered when we were discussing children to be a stay at home dad.
The second reason I am so shocked by this article is becomes it seems to me that it is not a "female" problem that men react badly to successful woman... it seems that this is a problem with how we raise our young men.

I look at my Godsons. I have three; Mikey is 11, Danny is 5, and Jamie will be 2 tomorrow. When I look at how they are raised, it makes me wonder if they'll be good men later in life. Whenever I'm with them, I make sure I'm consistent, but I also find myself saying things like "We don't hit" not "We don't hit girls" when they whack me. I also make them pick up their toys and wash their hands and if they say a bad word, they apologize quickly due to my death glare.

Whether my Godsons have wives or husbands or stay single, I would expect them to be proud of their partners, just as I'd want their partners to be proud of them. Marriage is a team... not a competition. Don't get me wrong, I love a good competition. It's healthy to compete and strive for something better... but I'm also the girl that drives my husband insane during sports and poker when there is a draw and I say "Yay! Everyone wins!" He hates that.
I was once asked if my husband was my s0ulmate and much to the asker's chagrin I said, "No, he's my teammate. My soul was complete before he came along." Man, did I ever get a wicked look. It is true though. My husband does not complete me. He adds to me, he loves me, he cares for me, he's my best friend, cheerleader, and reality check. He is not "my other half" though. I am one whole person unto myself. So is he.

I'm so confused by the end of this article when it talks about women and competing with men. It's okay for someone to be better at something else, right? We can't all be great at everything or that would make the Olympics, spelling bees, and the World Cup and such pretty damned lame, no?

While watching The Devil Wears Prada today, I thought about when I was reading the book. I just hated the Anna Wintour character. I hadn't known much about Wintour in real life, but the book made me just want to smack her for being so cruel and icy. In the movie however, Meryl Streep plays her less frigid, although she is lovely to hate, she creates a sympathy for her... and as Andy says "If she were a man and acting like this, no one would bat an eye." I'm not a feminist- I don't think, but I tend to agree. When I'm large and in charge at work or I snap at one of my agents being a jackwagon, I get "Wow, is it your time of the month?" or "Man, you're in a bad mood."
No, it's because you are being an incompetent twatwaffle (that one's for Stephanie). I can call you on your idiocy and it not be a drop in my estrogen and a rise in my progesterone that's causing this issue... it could be an ID10T error on your end. When my boss goes on the rampage people duck and cover but never once has anyone asked him if he's having a testosterone flare. Not once. Although I was tempted once... but I like my paycheck.

If this is true that woman are unlucky in love when they are successful at work, I wouldn't blame the successful, hardworking woman. I'd blame the parents of the petulant, Napoleonic man. I must say, if it were my husband and someone told him that I'd work 40 hours a week and bring home enough to support both of us for the next 20 years, he'd sign that contract right quick. His parents had traditional gender roles and so did my parents, but somehow we're doing it alright.

If you have a little boy at home, make sure he understand that it is absolutely okay to be taken care of and to take care of others. It's great to be part of a team. You lose together, you win together, you get to go to Disney World together. :)

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